I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
