ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
