You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Someone came in the potted fern
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
