Do you still have your period?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
