well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
