I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
