Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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