About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it glows. i had to have it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
