I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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