Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
