I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
