True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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