I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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