I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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