you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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