it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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