these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
