Me too!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
