I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
