no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
