Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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