Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize