You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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