OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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