I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
