we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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