mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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