i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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