seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
