IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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