Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
