how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We need to rekindle our bromance
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
