I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
