I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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