he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
