Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
