i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize