I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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