brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize