You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
