my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize