I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
