once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize