Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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