believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
