dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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