I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
COCAINE IS GR8
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
