Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
