He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
