If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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