So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Randomize
