everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
