Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
