Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
