So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
