I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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