Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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