She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I touched a dick in church today
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
