THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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