Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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