Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
