Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
