We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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