Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm gonna fight the coyote
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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