she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
