That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
