the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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