You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
