I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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